Pulse

In the beginning, there are many things that make you aware of the fact that you are pregnant. Most of them are not pleasant. One of the most remarkable, though, was being so aware of my pulse. I would almost bet, if I hadn't always been there myself to discredit the fact, that I had just sprinted up the stairs. Sometimes, I feel like I remember few facts from medical school, but I have always remembered the amazing fact that your blood volume increases by more than 50% during pregnancy. Of course, the fact that there are a million processes, more often than not, creating a healthy, normal new baby is probably more amazing, but at first, that being doesn't seem real as a separate entity. The only part that I could first grasp was the state of being pregnant, not that there was a real baby involved. In the beginning, I thought for sure that people, at least Dan, would stare at me as I stood there or laid in bed with my whole body pulsing. It felt so strong, I was sure that it was visible, palpable. I found myself looking at my hands and my skin just to watch it pulse. To my surprise, no one could ever see it, myself included.